I had a panicky moment recently when I suddenly realized that I’m about to start homeschooling. Like, for real. Not for just for play.
Except it is just for play, sort of. My oldest, Isabelle, is only 4 1/2. But for some reason, it feels so much more real now. Other kids her age are in pre-K now, if they weren’t before. And she’s still home.
I struggle with deciding what’s enough to educate her well and what’s too much. I don’t want to push her too hard when she’s only 4. So much of it should be learning through play right now.
But I also feel like a more structured curriculum will provide greater accountability for me and give me a solid game plan for the future. I’ve picked out our curriculum for the older grade levels, but it’s pre-K & Kindergarten that leave me bewildered.
And nervous. Honestly, I am super nervous at this point.
So what’s a mama to do?
Take a deep breath. Pray.
Open up this wonderful book and re-read the preschool and kindergarten chapter again.
It’s not like I’ve read it three times already. Ok, maybe 4.
And the authors encourage me to take it slow and focus on the things that really matter.
So I get out a pen and paper and I write out my choices again for next year. Some have question marks next to them now. It’s those question marks that I need to resolve, and quickly.
I send out texts and emails to no fewer than six experienced homeschooling moms. I ask curriculum questions, and a few friends had time to talk on the phone. It was a huge help just to know they had struggled with the same questions too.
I’ve already met with one or two homeschooling moms who have similar goals to me and who love the Classical method. I needed insight on how to make this homeschooling thing work with a crew of children. I don’t think the Lord is done growing our family, so I need to know how to do this well while raising babies and birthing more of them.
Getting to the Heart of the Matter
I also realized that a huge part of my recent curriculum crisis comes from my struggles with pride & perfectionism. The root of my concerns and anxiety yesterday stemmed from the fact that I don’t want to do it wrong. I don’t want to mess up. And I also don’t want to have to learn by trial and error. I want to get it right the first time.
But it doesn’t work that way. In my education classes in graduate school, my professors always said that good teachers “monitor and adjust.” Every teacher can tell you that. Why would I think homeschooling would be any different?
I hear stories of moms having to switch curriculum mid-year, because it’s just not working. I don’t want to have to do that. But I should, if that’s what’s needed. Any good teacher and any good mom should have enough humility at times to say this just ain’t workin’. That’s how it was when I was in charge of 130 ninth graders every year. At the end of every unit, I always asked myself what I would keep and what I would change for next year. It’s no different when it’s my own babies I’m teaching.
I won’t pick the perfect curriculum every time. What I purchase for one child may not work for the next child. Those are truths that I need to just get used to. If they don’t work, then I should monitor and adjust.
Thank you, moms, for your wisdom and insight. Thank you, Lord, for your peace and guidance in this.
Whew. I feel better now.
If you’re interested in finding out what we’re doing next year, then stay tuned. I’ll share our choices at some point in the next couple of weeks.
Your turn!
What do you do when you start second guessing the decisions you’ve already made? Homeschooling moms, do you ever feel completely overwhelmed with all of the good curriculum options? Have you had to switch gears with what you’ve been doing with your kids?
I love this post!!! Very well put. I can relate to your anxieties. I was there not too long ago. I knew when I started on this journey that I would be my biggest hurdle due to my perfectionist, high-achieving nature. It really does get a little easier with each year. However, each new stage has its own struggles so it is never “struggle-free”.
To be very honest, on more than one occasion each year the conviction that I am doing what God has instructed me to do is the only thing that keeps me going.
Once I gave myself permission to admit that something wasn’t working and remain open to change it was freeing. I think the biggest hurdle to get past for most all homeschool moms is the trap of comparison….DON’T COMPARE! I have even had to take myself out of certain social arenas because they just weren’t working for us. Keep your school your central focus and be okay with being unconventional compared to what others are doing. It gets lonely but that just makes your more reliable on God:).
Thank you, Paula, that’s really encouraging to hear from you. And you are so right. Comparison is always a trap and a joy-stealer. We just can’t go there.
She really will be fine! Titus is starting PreK this year too, and we are going classical ed. It will be fun traveling this road with you!
Oh, it really will be! I’m eager to know what you guys are using for your curriculum.
We are also starting pre-K with our 4.5 year old. Actually, we’re going to do K1, kind of a trial run for actual kindergarten. I can totally relate to this post. We are SO much alike: I’m a perfectionist, I’m trying to figure out the best possible way to homeschool in similar situations (possibly another baby, lots of little ones running around), and I don’t want to spend lots of money on curricula that don’t “work.”
Calling on homeschooling moms for support and looking to good resources are key. I’ve been doing the same things. But I also think we need to remember to take our worries and cares to the Lord. So often I dwell on what I can do to fix the problem, when in reality He is the only one who can.
I’m praying for you as you begin your new homeschooling journey. It’s gonna be fun! Keep us posted!
Thank you! We’re pretty much doing the same thing with our daughter. Like yours, she is ready for it. It’s a little nerve wracking, but as you said, I need to take those cares to the Lord.
Your first paragraph could have been written by me. 🙂 I totally know where you’re coming from.
Visiting from Fellowship Friday.
Ah, I’m so glad I’m not the only one! Thanks for stopping by.
I’ve not switched curriculum mid-year but I have learned to adapt the curriculum we use and my teaching style to meet my oldest daughter’s need & learning style. My 2 older daughters (7 & almost 6) are complete opposites as far as learning styles go! My middle daughter is just like her mama – traditional workbooks and lots of reading make her happy. Lots of hands-on projects and experiments don’t. My 7-year-old, however must always be creating and experimenting. It’s just part of who God has wired her, for His glory. We use a mix of Sonlight & Lifepac – and Sonlight has lots of “optional” hands-on and experimental activities that I assumed, at first, I would just gloss over and stick to the reading and workbooks. And I was wrong! Elizabeth needs those to stay engaged in our learning! So we do a healthy mix of both, so that each girl gets to learn in the way she needs, while expanding their experiences to include things that they don’t necessarily like (because, hey, sometimes that’s how life goes!). 🙂
~Lisha 🙂
That’s really smart of you to recognize that. I always here “don’t kill yourself doing all the extras” but it’s important to recognize when they need it and when they don’t. Thanks for your encouraging words.
We recently just finished our first homeschooling year and I also used “The Well Trained Mind” as a guide. I’ve decided to read it every year before making curriculum plans. I learned so much during my rookie year but it wasn’t the sort of things I expected to learn.
Yeah? Hmm…now you’ve got me guessing. Do you mean you learned a lot about your kids or about yourself? I think that’s a smart idea about rereading it, or at least rereading the portions that pertain to your kids’ ages. It gave me so much perspective and reminded me why I’d made those particular curriculum choices in the first place. I’ll be sharing our curriculum soon!
Im starting pre-k with my daughter, who recently turned 4, this year. I, like yourself, struggle with perfectionism and the stress over choosing a curriculum. Im really wanting to use this year to test the waters and try different things to see what learning styles really suit her best. She is a very active and touchy feely type of child, so Im assuming lots of hands on learning is what will suit her best but I want to be open and not put her in “the box” that I think suits her, because as we all know, kids can be surprising.
I plan on doing a letter of the week program with her that I got from Confessions of a Homeschooler & to expand on it with various activities. Since she is newly 4 I dont want to start “school” too soon and burn her out so we will do a lot of learning through play also. I have to admit though that this approach is not going to be easy for my type A, loves to make detailed plans, & know exactly whats going on at all times, personality but I feel like Im doing what God is leading me to do and I think it will end up being best for me too in the end and He will teach me a thing or 2 from my carefree preschooler 🙂
That sounds like a fabulous idea. COAH has some really great ideas and curriculum to use. I hope your first year is a good one! Keep me posted on how all of it goes.
We are going into our 7th year of homeschooling and I still second guess myself. Are we doing enough seems to be the big question that always come back to me. So and so is doing this and this and this and this…and we are only doing this. Don’t fall into comparing. It can totally derail you and fill you with doubt. My husband and I have written down the reasons we homeschool and why we chose the curriculum we have. When I start down my comparing/doubting road, we go over that list and I am once again reassured that we are doing what is best for our family. The other one I question a lot is what age do you start schooling, outside of “play school.” There are pros and cons for starting early and delayed learning. We learn more toward the delayed learning but the I start comparing and see those 3 year olds that are reading Shakespeare and feel like I’m totally ruining my kids for not teaching them at 2 1/2. haha So, with that said, write down the reasons you are doing what you do, and go back to that list when doubts creep in, because they will. I wish you all the best in your first year of homeschooling! God bless!
Wow, thanks for that awesome advice, Elizabeth! We have felt called to homeschooling for a very long time. And you’re right, comparison is a bad trap to fall into.