We were loading the kids into our minivan, latching seat belts and folding up the double stroller when you walked by.
The kids were happy and calm and so were we. We were running in auto pilot, since we were out later than usual, but we were just glad the kids were obeying at a time when they should’ve been in bed.
That’s when it happened.
It was a hit and run discouraging mom moment and my husband was there to witness it.
“Yep, I don’t miss those days.”
That’s all you said as you walked by with your husband. Maybe that was your way of acknowledging that life with 3 little bitties is pretty tough. I don’t know. But it sounded very negative, and my husband turned to me and commented on how harsh women can be to each other.
I’m not at mad at you and I’m not bitter, but you made me think: There were ten other things you could’ve said to encourage a family with a 4, 2, and 1 year old, but you chose to say that you don’t miss those days.
Really? Not at all?
Because today, in the middle of changing two toddler’s diapers, in the middle of cleaning and messing up the house, all at the same time, in the middle of the ebb and flow of correction and teaching, big things were happening.
The kids woke me up by coming to “‘nuggle mommy” and Andrew brought me his loveys to snuggle with. His chubby little toddler arms went around my neck too many times to count. When I asked him what his favorite thing was out of a car, a train, or a truck, he said Jesus. I didn’t even realized he’d managed to learn his ABCs, but somehow, he has picked it up around our house and has been singing it so much.
Then there was that moment when I walked into the dining room and saw his sweet little face blue with butter cream frosting while a cupcake was noticeably devoid of any frosting. But he lied about it, and I disciplined him. There were tears, prayers, and hugs, and we were closer after I corrected him than before.
And you don’t miss these days?
My 12 month old finally learned to clap recently, so throughout the day, he would grin and show off his new skill, clapping for himself. After I nurse him, I get a round of applause from my tiny baby boy. He grins and claps for mama to thank me for the milk.
And my oldest child read to me–read a real book–while I prepared dinner. I taught her phonics and she’s finally putting it all together and can read cute little story books. Then she stood on a chair and helped me make homemade macaroni and cheese to go along with our dinner.
There were books to be read and songs to be sung along with snuggles and kisses from mommy that made everything better.
And you don’t miss these days? Not at all? Not even a smidge?
I do. Already, I miss this day.
But when I’m in your shoes, shopping alone with my husband, without kids in tow, and I see a family doing the minivan shuffle, I hope that I’ll choose to encourage.
And I hope that I enjoyed my babies enough that I miss their sweet chubby little faces when they’re grown.
Enjoy it, moms. If it’s really sweet, we’re going to miss this when it’s gone.
Your turn: How would you have responded to this mom? Do you often get discouraging comments from others?
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