My second baby was born with a rare lung defect. When I became pregnant with my third baby, part me wondered…
…what if this baby has a lung defect too?
Statistically, it seemed unlikely.
The disease that caused it is called Congenital Lobar Emphysema. Not only is it very rare, but it is also usually spontaneous.
But a small percentage of the time–a very small percentage–it is genetic. If indeed, it was genetic, my future children would have a one in four chance of having CLE.
One in four. That’s a high statistic.
So we went for the level two ultrasound, which is normal when you have a child with a birth defect. And after speaking with the genetic counselor, we left with no answers to our questions. We were referred to a pediatric geneticist several hours away. And we were left to wait.
During that time, I had to work through my What If situation. What if this baby has a lung defect too?
Then God will care for him. Then God will provide as he did for Andrew. God provided amazing doctors and medical care with very little time to spare. Surely He will provide again?
And we would be prepared. We would know what to look for this time. God had already equipped us.
I remembered my What If the night my newborn was diagnosed with CLE. But it was The Worst What If.
What if my baby dies? What if I lose him? What if, in God’s perfect plan, he has called me to lose this baby?
I don’t want to think about it, but any of us could lose a child at anytime. At any moment, our worst fears could be realized for our husbands, our children, or anyone we love.
We have to decide now if we’re going to trust God with our lives, their lives, and our futures.
None of these are scenarios that we want to go through, but they are the very same scenarios where our faith is made real, where we have to live what we believe. So we need to decide now, while everyone is healthy, if we really and truly trust God with our families. He is the giver of these good things, the blessings of our children and husbands. And He gives and takes away. Will I trust Him with the taking, should He call me to that?
Yes I will.
I trust Him to comfort me and care for me in the most unfathomable and unspeakable trials. He is good and gracious. He can provide peace as no one can. He is God.
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