Love Never Fails – Blog Hop
I have joined with some lovely friends to bring you a Love Never Fails blog hop! We’re celebrating this beautiful truth with inspiration, encouragement, and practical helps for you this Valentine’s Day. We hope you are blessed by it!
Valentine’s Day is approaching and we’re looking for sweet things to do for our husbands. I always like to do something special for him on this day, but it’s also my goal that he feels loved and supported every day.
I spent half of last year dealing with morning sickness while pregnant and the other half grieving the loss of our baby. My husband has carried much of that weight for us. I have felt so loved and cared for by him during this season, so lately I have found myself looking for ways to make sure that he feels just as loved and supported as I do.
It’s the least I can do for the sweet, godly man that the Lord has blessed me with.
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Valentine’s Day and anniversaries are a reminder to me to take care of the marriage God has given me. It a reminder to go back to a few key areas that are worth my focus. When I want to make sure my husband feels especially loved and prized, as I hope he did when we first got married 13 years ago, I start with this list. These are my go-tos for a sweet marriage with my best friend.
1. Find a Shared Project.
Shared projects are great for your marriage. They bring us closer as we work together with one goal in mind, and when it’s all finished, they give us a sense of accomplishment together.
In fact, this is the main reason I agreed to play adult league soccer with my husband many years ago. I’m terrible at sports, but I knew it would be good for us. And it was.
Some ideas for shared projects: yard work, refinishing furniture, putting together an outreach project, leading a couples Bible study together, painting the house, building a deck, or cleaning house together.
2. Have a ready “sure” on your lips.
I read this many years ago in Elizabeth George’s A Woman After God’s Own Heart. It can be a real game-changer in marriage. Here’s how it works.
I’m a planner. I like to go with the plan and I’m not super flexible. Suffice it to say, I say no a lot when something doesn’t fit my plans.
But my husband is creative. He’s an ideas guy. When his ideas deviate from the plan, I often say no or not right now (I do this to my kids too). I can think of a million reasons why something won’t work.
Meanwhile, he just needs me to listen and support him. Maybe his idea is a great one (let’s deviate from the meal plan and have crepes for dinner!). Or maybe it’s one that will never come to fruition (let’s move to Siberia and share Jesus in the tundra!).
When I say sure instead of you’re crazy, I validate his thoughts. I’m not signing myself up for anything necessarily, but I’m agreeing to hear him out. Usually my next statement after sure is let’s talk about that!
3. Resolve to be the same person every day when he comes home from work.
If I’ve had a busy day, I’m Frazzled Gabby. If I’ve had a grieving day, then I’m Sad Gabby. If the kids have been especially difficult, then I’m Frustrated Gabby. Either of these people could lead to Grouchy Gabby when my husband arrives home from work.
Or I can take a breather so that I’m a sweet wife even in the bad days, even when I’m sad, and even when I’m frustrated. This doesn’t mean I fake it or have to hide the difficult moments. It simply means that I don’t take any of it out on him when he comes home.
It’s not always easy, but I’m working at it. I try to greet him pleasantly and then later I will let him know that I’m sad, frustrated, or frazzled. It sure beats snapping at him when he walks in the door.
4. Initiate in the bedroom.
You can fill in the blanks here, and I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. If he’s the one who usually initiates intimacy, then I think it’s important to lead the way occasionally. Our husbands like to know they’re wanted too.
Am I making you blush? I don’t mind making you blush if it means our marriages are stronger, and intimacy is definitely an essential for a good marriage.
5. Do a project just for him this week.
Maybe it’s a button that popped off his favorite shirt. Or the laundry that’s driving him crazy (because who wants to have to search for matching socks every day?). Or a trip to the dry cleaners. Resolve to take care of one task that annoys him.
It’s easy to let the million little things our children need come before the tiny details our husbands need us to accomplish. Instead, we need to make time to prioritize our husbands as well as our little people.
One of the best ways we care for our children is by having a solid marriage. It matters far more than doing a crazy Pinterest craft with the kids.
6. Remember his favorites.
Few things say “I love you” to my husband quite like an amazing dinner. My husband loves food and the key to his heart really does lie in a good meal. But it’s not that way for every man.
It might be more important to him that you watch football with him, pick up his favorite treat at the grocery store, or listen to his favorite radio program. I don’t know. But figure out what he loves and do it every once in a while.